Some people will only love you as long as you fit in their box. Don’t be afraid to disappoint.

051715 some people will only love you..

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I’ve been thinking about this idea of being placed in a box for a while now. We build boxes to contain people and we form them with ideas and norms we understand. When we don’t understand others, when they don’t fit into these boxes that have been built, they are ridiculed and judged.

For example, as a society we have built gender boxes. We believe men should be strong, masculine, show no feelings, and be providers. But when they don’t fit into this “ideal” they are emasculated, called feminine names to be belittled, and put down (which is problematic because you are saying that being a woman is being less than a man).

When it comes to women, we are supposed to want to have kids, get married, be feminine, wear dresses, have few sexual partners, etc. The whole idea of what makes a man or a woman is absolutely ridiculous. Gender is not black or white but instead a continuum. We all identify with traits that have been assigned to either gender.

Beyond just gender constraints there are other boxes built. There are boxes built by fandoms, by corporate offices, social circles, etc. You are supposed to fit into their ideals. They want you to fit into their boxes.

But don’t. Don’t force yourself to be someone you are not. Be your awesome self and the people that truly care about you will continue to do so. If people don’t get it, then they aren’t meant to be a part of your life.

I’ve always cared far too much about other people’s opinions of me, and I still do. I worry if someone will read my blog and think I am weird or stupid. I worry that a dress I wear might make me look fat and people will judge me for what I eat. We all have worries and fears but those who love you won’t care. They will celebrate your uniqueness.

Don’t worry so much about fitting in. You were meant to stand out and be yourself. So do it!

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8 thoughts on “Some people will only love you as long as you fit in their box. Don’t be afraid to disappoint.

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